So almost 2 weeks ago, my Friday started out like any other. Woke up, took the kids to school and made my way to work. Around 11:30am, I was called into my supervisors office and they informed me they were letting me go.
I wish I could say I was surprised and upset with the news, but I wasn’t.
As my boss and another supervisor let me know, I could tell they both felt bad.
My boss kept apologizing and I kept telling her it was ok...and it really was.
I went back to my office and within ten minutes I had all my things packed up. Around 11:45am, I walked out of the doors that had been my job for almost four years for the last time.
I drove to Legacy Ford to let Anthony know what had happened and his response was simple.
“They just did you a favor.”
We were closing in on week 2 of our 21 days of prayer and one of my prayers was for God to show me if the company I was at was where I was meant to be. I had been there almost four years and the past few months I hadn’t been happy. I would wake up every day, go to work and by the end of the day I wondered, "Is this it?". I never felt as if what I was doing was actually making me happy. I never wanted to do anything about it because honestly, I think quitting is just an uncomfortable situation. I don’t like quitting at anything.
As I looked at the last check I had been given, I realized Anthony was right.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next and that's exactly what I told him.
He said if they wouldn’t have let me go, I would still be working a job that I wasn’t happy with. Anthony encouraged me to just take time off and focus on me and what I really want to do with my life.
When Tone was around 6 years old, Anthony and I put him in taekwondo. Every week on Tuesdays, I would take him to his hour long class and watch him warm up and practice. After class I would tell him how great he did and he would smile and say thank you. Week after week we went to class and I started to notice that Tone just wasn’t as excited about going to his classes. He would go but there was definitely something missing. Finally after a couple of months, I decided to pull him out of it. I sat him down and told him I wasn’t going to make him do something he didn’t enjoy. I told him that whenever he finds something that he wants to do to tell me and I would make sure he’s able to try it.
This is exactly what God had to do for me. Day after day, month after month and year after year, I would go to a job that wasn't allowing me to feel fulfilled but I never wanted to do anything about it. God had to be the one that stepped in as the Father He is and remove me from something I couldn't do for myself. How great is it that our Heavenly Father knows what is in our heart and when he sees we won't do something for ourselves, he will do it for us. I prayed for God to show me something and he answered. It may not have been the way I was expecting or wanting, but he answered nonetheless.
It has been a week since I was let go and I have been less stressed, I have more time to spend with the kids and I have been able to focus more on what matters most to me...my family.
It felt as if recently I was more stressed than usual. I was waking up early to get myself ready for work, help get the kids ready for school, drive them 20 minutes to school, drive 15 min to my job, work 8 hours, go home, make dinner, find time to clean, make my once a week ABLA class and try to find time to spend with Anthony. It was stress that affected my family. I was short with my kids and short with Anthony. I would lash out at them because I had a bad day or ended up getting stuck at work later than usual.
I knew my job was causing more bad than good.
Thankfully, I'm blessed in such a way that I have the ability to be at home and our finances will be fine. Thankfully, I have a husband that works his butt off to provide a great lifestyle for me and our kids. And I'm especially thankful to have a husband that will support and encourage me when life tends to knock me down.
This week I realized how I can easily take my passion for photography and earn a little income on the side. I'm able to make time for friendships that had been pushed on the back burner for some time since I was always too busy to spend time with them. I can actually spend time with Anthony on his days off and we can do something together for an entire day and not just a few hours. I’m able to plug in to small groups that happen during the week, which is something I have been wanting for a while.
I will also say this, my house is the cleanest it has been in a long time.lol.
In life, how many times will we stay in a situation because we are comfortable? Maybe it's a relationship, a friendship or like me....a job. There is so much more to life than merely accepting how it is because it's what you are used to. Too many times we fool ourselves and say, "I may not like my job, but at least I have one" or how about "he doesn't make me happy, but at least he stays with me." Each person has control of their own happiness and that means removing anything that may be holding you back from being fulfilled. Life is too short to be anything less than truly happy. I've seen this happen with family, friends and even myself. I have come to learn that if you're not happy, you are the only one that can change it.
So, I may have lost my job but God doesn’t close one door without having plans to open another. I have faith that God closed that door for a reason.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11